Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
