if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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