I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
