WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
