It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
