i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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