Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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