it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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