I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
