My room smells like vodka and shame
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
