I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
