I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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