Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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