Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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