I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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