Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
