Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
