Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
