opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
