can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize