Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
