it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
