i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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