I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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