a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
