just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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