whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize