Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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