It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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