4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i've created a new STD.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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