sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
pop tarts are not kleenex
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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