So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everclear isn't food dammit
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize