I smell stomach acid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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