this beer tastes like vomit already
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
two words...techno handjob
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
