I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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