I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize