The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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