you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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