So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize