if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
