I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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