I can text with my tongue
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
time to smoke my breakfast
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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