you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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