you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
