operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
