I CAN MOONWALK!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
