TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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