Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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