haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
