i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She needs sedatives and a leash
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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