No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
