but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
PANTIES FOUND
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