Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
