2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
only if we run a train.
done.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
