So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
