If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
