I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
