When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
