Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
