WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
